Thursday, September 25, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read that on average, an adult U.S. male will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.

This is very upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I was Japanese!

Internationally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs, because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why." -Redd Foxx



Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer.

He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?"

The other guy says, "Ya stupid fook. Now we've got to piss in the boat."



"This week Scotland will vote on whether it wants to leave the United Kingdom. Of course, if Scotland does break up with England, it'll just do what everyone does: Stalk them on Facebook." -Jimmy Fallon



In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.

The interview went as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, Miss. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't YOU get mad?"