Thursday, July 5, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was coming back from the bathroom this afternoon when I bumped into the customer service girl who also acts as our receptionist.

"TZ! You're here!"

"Of course, I'm here," I answered. "Where else would I be, out somewhere living a fulfilling and satisfying life?"

"You had two phone calls and the boss was looking for you. I told everybody you were gone for the day."

"I was just in the bathroom, for Christ's sake."

"What do you do in there for a half hour at a time!"

"For me, shitting is a spiritual experience," I told her. "Plus, I wanted to finish the last chapter of this book."

Multi-taskingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Women should have labels on their foreheads that say, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'." --Jeffrey Bernard



An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down the middle.

The golfer turns to his old Scottish caddy and tells him that in America that is called a "Mulligan" and asks him if there is a name for it in Scotland.

The caddy replies, "AYE, we call it a three."



"The big mistake men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at 21 than you did at ten." --Jules Feiffer



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The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.

"No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects again.

"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection," the patient says. "'I'm fine with pills."

The dentist steps out of the office and returns a moment later, "Here's a Viagra."

The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a painkiller!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."