Monday, January 4, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Welcome to 2010, folks. A new week, a new year and brand
new opportunities for self enlightenment and self improve-
ment. I have to admit, I'm just happy to be here at all.
I was certain that when they turned on the Large Hadron
Collider in Switzerland last year that the entire Earth
would be sucked into an alternate dimension where you could
actually 'taste' rap music and women's pussies had teeth.
Since that didn't happen I feel very confident about the
new year.
Optimistically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for
eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four
hours of begging and then dinner and a movie." --Sting
Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one
morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart.
He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions.
"Do you smoke?" asked a paramedic.
"No," John whispered. "I quit."
"That"s good. When did you quit?"
"Around 9:30 this morning."
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--Dave Letterman
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ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but
not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money,
time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
you don't especially like in the present and will learn to
like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.
PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin
until married.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate
to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised
to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in
the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due
to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is
interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets
him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a
few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to
be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex
more often than he does.
FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less
often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than
lifting her nightgown.
SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall
in love.
NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more from her life
with him than just intercourse.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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