Thursday, December 24, 2009
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, folks. Tomorrow starts
the company's annual compulsory week off. Don't worry, I
have prepared some Laff-a-Day issues ahead of time so you
won't have to take a break from my wit and wisdom even while
I'm taking a break from responsibility.
I have to admit, I could use the time off. I have been
running myself ragged the last week or so. Just about the
only thing I haven't taken care of this last week is my
marital responsibilities. And with nine days off I plan on
making up for a lot of lost time.
I'm going to have the wife begging me to leave her alone
come Sunday after next...which will be a nice role reversal.
So enjoy yourself, stay safe, be generous with friends and
family, and I'll talk to you again next year!
Charitably,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
TIRED NO MORE...
Store Price: $24.99
INTRODUCTORY PRICE: $2.99
"Studies show Ginseng is effective in treating
circulation problems, fatigue, lack of energy,
stress and anxiety."
Throughout ancient history, Ginseng has been praised for its
exceptional nutrition value. Modern nutrition researchers
also regard Ginseng as a valuable herb because of its naturally-
proportioned wealth of vitamins, minerals, enzymes, & co-enzymes.
We're SO SURE that our "Ginseng Energy" will help you, we're
practically giving it away. For a fraction of the store
price you can get 60 pills to see for yourself what the
'miracle of Ginseng' can do for you. Grab a bottle by visiting
(Sorry there is a limit of five (5) bottles per order):
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3292/c/120/a/498
"My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking
back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward to beating
the shit out of my own kids, for no reason whatsoever."
--Denis Leary
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British
TV host Anne Diamond when he used the Spanish word "manana"
(manyana). Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He
said that the term means, "Maybe the job will be done tomor-
row, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps
next week, next month, next year who cares?"
The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the
show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.
"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree
of urgency."
Keep Your Feet Warm With These Fuzzy Socks
$2.99 a pair - OR - buy 2 for $4.98
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/4019/c/186/a/498
"The next great civilization to arise was Ancient Greece,
which came up with an exciting new governing concept
called "democracy," from the Greek words dem, meaning
"everybody gets to vote," and ocracy, meaning "except, of
course women, slaves and poor people." -Dave Barry
The Tastes and Colors of Provence Cookbook
Good Cooking... Good Travels... Good People...
List Price: $12.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
This is one of the most unique cookbooks you'll ever own.
It's not just filled with recipes it is a guided tour of
the Provence of France.
People spend thousands of dollars to attend a full week at
Sylvie Lallemand's Provencal Cooking School. This book allows
you to experience a typical week at the cooking school AND the
actual recipes they cook.
You'll also enjoy 12 full-color water color prints by Sylvie...
and she's quite the artist too!
You'll even get some recipes from some of her favorite regional
restaurants.
This little book is packed with so much... after reading it
and of course trying out some of the recipes you'll feel like
you've been been on a journey to France.
Grab a book or two (they make wonderful gifts), by visiting:
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14570/c/120/a/498
A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would not say
"I love you," even if explicitly asked to do so. The only
exception, she said, was when they were in fact in the act
of making love. Then, if asked, he would say the sacred words.
I suggested that she should not take too much comfort in the
exception. When making love, I explained, men will say
anything.
"He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's what he thinks
you want to hear," I told her. The conversation rattled on
from there.
A couple of weeks later, she related the following. "We were
in bed, making love and I said, 'Tell me you love me'."
He said, "I love you."
I said, "Tell me you're the Easter Bunny."
He stopped for a second, and said, "I'm the Easter Bunny."
"So I slapped him."
The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14420/c/120/a/498