Monday, February 25, 2013Greetings Laff Lovers,
My wife was glued to the Academy Awards last night. I didn't argue with her. I went off to do something productive. It's not that I'm not interested in who won what, but I can read all about it the next day. I don't need to sit through the four hours of mind-numbing boredom for information I can get in ten minutes of reading.
But despite my conspicuous absence she was still under the delusion that I was interested.
"TZ!" she yelled at me. "Come in here and take a look at the dress this woman is wearing!"
"Can you see her tits?" I yelled back from the kitchen.
"No."
"Then I don't need to see it," I answered.
Disinterestedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S.
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"The Oscars are this Sunday. Everyone will be tuning in to the telecast, and "Lincoln" is one of the big favorites. Of course, like Lincoln, most people won't stick around for the whole show." -Conan O'Brien
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?
Got this text from my brother recently. It read, "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. Turns out it just reaches the back of her sister's throat!"
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We have all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both are fatal.