Monday, March 15, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
It's pay day today. I was just thinking to myself, as I
poured over my laughable checking account balance, that
I could never be unfaithful to my wife, even if I wanted
to.
I can barely afford a house, a wife and three kids. I'd
never be able to afford a mistress. I don't know how guys
who cheat do it!
If women are anything they're expensive, especially women
who know you need them more than they need you. My wife,
for example, knows not to expect any money out of me, but
then she has to have sex with me by law.
I guess I can't complain too much, because historically
every woman who has actually desired to have sex with me
(at least the first time until they found out I let the
horses out of the barn pretty quickly) ended up costing
me something. Like good buddies, wild nights out and
several rounds of mega doses of antibiotics.
I sure miss that girl.
Nostalgically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of
alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't
drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur
to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer
practice." -Jimmy Kimmel
A very well groomed young man walked into an army recruiting
office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally
asked if he was a homosexual. The guy admitted that he was.
"Gay, huh?" the brawny recruiter growled. "Do you think you
could kill a man?"
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days and days." =
The epic history Spielberg and Hanks took their inspiration from.
The real life story of the Pacific. Victory at Sea.
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"There's a new vending machine in Japan that can wash, rinse,
and blow-dry your dog in 30 minutes. They have the same exact
thing in China, but it doubles as a snack machine."
-Jimmy Fallon
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A blonde called her mom and said, "Hi Mom, I need some help.
I'm at the police station."
"Police station?! I thought you were with your father at
the hardware store."
"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make
one phone call."
"Arrested? My God! What happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."
"What on earth? Why did you do that?"
"It wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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