Thursday, November 4, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Here it is, one more week shot to hell. Do you ever feel
like your life is trickling away one week, one day, one
hour, one minute at a time? Like there is something you
should be doing with your life but you never have the time
or the energy because you spend all of your time working
and all of your money on the necessities of living and
providing for your family?
Sometimes I think there must be more. Sometimes I want to
make more of my life than eating three meals a day, sleeping
seven hours a night and bringing my wife to sexual ecstasy
twice.....once a week.
Before I grow too old I am going to find my purpose, make my
mark. I am going to leave a legacy so that after I am gone
people will remember the name of TZ...oh, look! Naked pictures
of Jessica Alba...
Philosophically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Although many of her Republican colleagues were elected to
the House, Christine O'Donnell ended up underneath it, with
her feet curled up." -Jimmy Kimmel
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his
wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or
lamb?"
He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
"Fuck You," she called back. "You're having soup. I was
talking to the dog!"
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"Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't
got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest
instinct about when to die." --Oscar Wilde
[This guy was a fag. What the fuck would he know?]
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Why Men Should Not Write Advice Columns
Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work
leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled
and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had
to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I
couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbor's daughter!
I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is
19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted
him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having
an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling
and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can
you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be
caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by
checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it
is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake
manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the
fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure
to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
John
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com