Sunday, November 2, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

As I get older I find that I am becoming more and more spiritual. I believe helping humanity and spreading peace to be paramount in the journey to enlightenment and eternal bliss. It was with these thoughts that I decided to buy a couple of raffle tickets from the kid asking all the passersby, "Want to win the raffle for the mentally challenged?"

So I spent a few dollars, jumped into my car and headed back to the office where I bumped into Lewis.

"What are you studying so intently, TZ?" he asked.

"Well, I just bought these raffle tickets that I think are supposed to benefit retarded children. But the kid's pitch who sold them to me has got me a little worried."

"Why, what did he say?" Lewis asked.

"Well, he kept repeating, 'Win the raffle for the mentally challenged! Win the raffle for the mentally challenged!'"

"Yeah, so?" Lewis asked confused.

"Well, now I'm worried that I just entered a raffle to win an actual retard."

Panickingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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It is hard being black. We get the bad end of the deal with every sport. Hockey your slappin a black puck around. Pool you have a white ball trying to knock you in a hole. The only thing we have is bowling, where you have a black ball trying to knock down a bunch of rednecks.



A tourist on a diving charter off the coast of Florida asks the blond dive master: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blond replies: "Think about it! If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."



This is perhaps the most profound philosophy I have heard:

Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free.

It's women who make it hard.



A Texan, an Englishman and a Frenchman are having a drink.

The Texan says, "I know this bar in Dallas that if you buy one drink the next one is on the house."

The Englishman says, "That's great but I know a bar in London where if you buy a drink the next two are on the house."

The Frenchman says, "Big deal, in Paris there is a bar where all the drinks are free and they take you in back to get you laid."

The Texan and the Englishman are intrigued. "Where is this wonderful bar?" asked the Englishman.

"I don't know," replied the Frenchman, "I've never been there. But my sister goes all the time."