Thursday, March 11, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I am a man of the new millennium. I embrace technology. I
traded my VCR that blinked 12:00 for a DVR that records
100s of hours at the touch of a button. I have a phone with
a camera and I know how to text. Yep, ol' TZ is practically
a renaissance man.
In fact, some of my best parenting is done via texting. This
morning my 14 year-old daughter texted me that she wouldn't
be home until after 5. I replied with advice about good and
bad, smart and stupid, shepherds and sheep.
She told me she knows all that and I need to chill. I replied
that I am an ice-man...and then I realized I had forwarded
her a picture accidentally.
So I sent her another text: "Oops, sorry. Please disregard
the naked picture of your mother spread eagle with a whip
sticking out of her ass. Love, Dad."
Technologically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"New York congressman Eric Massa was on Glenn Beck and he
showed a book of graphic photos of things sailors did for
fun when at sea. The book was so graphic, they couldn't
show them on the air. Now if you're trying to convince
people you're not gay, you probably shouldn't show your
big book of naked sailors." -Jay Leno
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need
you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
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"The Miami Herald is reporting that the city of Miami will
host the next season of 'Jersey Shore' on MTV. If there's
one thing the city of Miami has been lacking, it's half-
naked idiots with spray tans." -Jimmy Kimmel
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%
A man and his wife were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "We've been
married so long, sweetheart, I hope you feel you can ask
me anything you want. After all this time I want us to be
completely open in our relationship."
The husband replies, "Okay, there is one thing that has
been bothering me for a long time, but I haven't had the
courage to ask before...but I have noticed that all six
of our children look similar to one another except one. I
can't figure out how he got to look so different. Did he
have a different father than the rest?"
The wife stops. She is unable to look her husband in the
eyes. Slowly she replies, "yes. Yes he did have a different
father."
Her husband was taken aback. "Oh! Okay, I must know. Please
tell me. Who was that child's father?"
Again she cannot look her husband in the eyes. She is very
distressed, and after a long silence she slowly said, "YOU."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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