Monday, November 1, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I don't know what it's like in other neighborhoods, but
yesterday I was surprised at how many 6-foot-tall trick-
or-treaters came to my house. And I'm not just talking
about high schoolers who are having trouble giving up
their adolescence (I had a few of those too), but actual
adults.
I mention this because I had three guys built like full-
grown men walk up to my door, dressed in jeans and
sweatshirts with masks on and their hoods pulled up over
their heads.
One of them was smoking through his mask.
My first impression when I saw them walking up to the house
was that I was about to get robbed. I mean, what better
scenario? It's Halloween, it was already pretty late, about
eight o'clock, and there is an expectation that a homeowner
will open his door to any asshole who walks up to it wearing
a mask.
So I told them through the door that I was sorry, but I had
already stopped giving out candy.
Fortunately they just walked away, but at that moment I was
seriously wishing I had a gun in the house. I fully believe
in the Second Amendment, but I never wanted to have a gun in
the house because of the kids.
Not that I think they'd find it and play with it, but some-
times I just don't trust myself around those little bastards.
Cautiously,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've
got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your
affairs in order."
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and
walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been
waiting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good,
and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case,
things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the
club and have a martini."
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less
somber. They were eventually approached by some of the
woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two
were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her im-
pending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences
and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over
and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of
cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of
AIDS! Why did you do that?"
"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your
father after I'm gone."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com