Thursday, September 12, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I getting dressed when my wife walked in and looked at me seductively.

"I had a very naughty dream last night," she said giving me a kiss.

"Yeah? How was I?"

"Who said it was you?"

"Who was it then?"

"I think he was faceless."

"If he was someone from your past I'm sure he was dickless, too."

"No, no. He DEFINITELY had a dick."

What-the-fuckly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"This is weird. A brewer has apparently come out with a beer that you can spread on toast. It is said to appeal to a very specific market known as alcoholics." -Conan O'Brien



Two women came to my photo studio to have their portrait taken. My very young and very naive assistant asked, "Are you two sisters?"

"No," said one of the women. "We're partners."

"Ohhhh..." said my assistant. "So how long have you ladies been cops?"



"Tonight was a very special episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." Mama June and Sugar Bear had a commitment ceremony. That's like a wedding but without that old-fashioned crap about being legally required to give away half your stuff." -Craig Ferguson



My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case.