Thursday, January 14, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
We have a college kid in the office who works part time
sabotaging our video site http://www.evtv1.com and generally
causing mischief. He's a nice kid but he's not exactly the
sharpest tool in the shed.
Anyway, today I heard him bragging about a thirteen-inch
throwing knife he bought off the Internet and I had to inter-
ject.
"What in God's name do you think you're going to do with
something like that? What kind of situation do you think
you're going to be in that you'll need a thirteen-inch
throwing knife?"
"TZ," he answered me, "I don't want to imagine a situation
where I'd need a thirteen-inch throwing knife and didn't
have one."
Well, how can you argue with logic like that?
Debatingly,
TZ
P.S. Remember, folks, you can follow Laffaday on Twitter.
Lewis has been rubbing it in my face that his Bizarre News
Twitter account has more followers than Laffaday's. If you
guys can give me more followers than Bizarre News I promise
to show you all a naked picture of my wife. How's that for
incentive? Go to http://www.gophertweets.com
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"The other day in Turkey, villagers in a small town were
shocked when a sheep gave birth to a calf with a human
face. Sounds like there's one guy in that town who has a
lot of explaining to do." -Conan O'Brien
The government announced today that it is changing its
emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the
government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys
the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives
you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
It just doesn't get more accurate than that!
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"While speaking about the war on terror yesterday, President
Obama said, 'There is, of course, no foolproof solution. We
have to stay one step ahead of a nimble adversary.' Sounds
like somebody saw Sherlock Holmes over the holiday."
-Jimmy Fallon
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Back in my working days I was a union linotype operator in a
daily newspaper on Cape Cod. Our employment required 6 years
of apprenticeship prior to receiving a journeyman's
credentials. We were required to be proficient in English,
particularly spelling and meaning of words, among others.
One day a fellow worker while setting a story came across the
word, "butte" and asked his co-worker the difference between
a butte, mountain or mesa, etc. A discussion arose amongst
several of us and the comparison was made as well of canyons,
escarpmets, bluffs. etc.
Someone suggested we ask Jeannie, one of our proofreaders to
settle the question. Well, Jeannie was what one might say a
worldly lady, and when approached by our representative with:
"Hey, Jeannie, what's a butte?"
She promptly replied: "Offhand, I'd say, one about this
long;" signifying a distance of about 8 inches with her hands.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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