Thursday, November 18, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I have been reading a lot about this controversy concerning
ticket holders getting felt up at airports around the country.
It's part of the TSA's new security procedures. Random people
are selected for "advanced screening" which involves the
screener running his or her hands up and down the inner thighs,
squeezing the ass and cupping the breasts (if you're a woman,
of course).
And I'm not kidding, either. They're even doing it to kids.
Now, despite the obvious infringement upon a person's privacy,
not to mention dignity and Fourth Amendment rights, this could
actually be a lot of fun for the right kind of pervert.
Imagine, you could buy a one-way ticket somewhere (it doesn't
matter where) for sixty bucks or so, and then spend the night
wandering in and out of security areas. Do you know how much
money some perverts spend to get felt up? The groping, the
embarrassment, the public humiliation?
I wonder if it's a federal crime to get a stiffy while being
fondled by a TSA screener?
Fetishly,
TZ
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"TSA agents can now feel the inside of passengers' thighs.
I get more action going through airline security than I
did all through high school." -Jimmy Kimmel
A man goes to a new doctor for a physical, and during the
exam the doctor is amazed to discover the man has five
penises.
"I've never seen anything like this," exclaims the doctor.
"How do your pants fit?"
The man responds, "Like a glove."
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A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would not say
"I love you," even if explicitly asked to do so. The only
exception, she said, was when they were in fact in the act
of making love. Then, if asked, he would say the sacred words.
I suggested that she should not take too much comfort in the
exception. When making love, I explained, men will say
anything.
"He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's what he thinks
you want to hear," I told her. The conversation rattled on
from there.
A couple of weeks later, she related the following. "We were
in bed, making love and I said, 'Tell me you love me'."
He said, "I love you."
I said, "Tell me you're the Easter Bunny."
He stopped for a second, and said, "I'm the Easter Bunny."
"So I slapped him."
The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com