Monday, March 22, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Satan stopped me as I was heading out the door.
"You going to lunch?" she asked.
"If you're asking because you want to go with me then, no, I
stopped eating food a long time ago."
"I'd rather eat with the Mongol Horde and be their love slave
instead of eating with you," she fired back. "No, I need you to
cash this check and give it to the girls who are going out of
town tomorrow."
So I stopped at the bank, got the cash and gave it to the
woman who is our EVP of something or other. She was talking to
some guy near the office doorway.
"Here you go," I said handing her the stack of cash. "And next
time, if you want this much again, I expect you to do a bunch
of Kegel exercises. OK?"
She looked at me and the guy's jaw dropped open. I smiled.
She finally said, "TZ, I'd like you to meet Bob, my husband."
"Oh," I said reaching out and shaking his hand. "Very nice to
meet you."
Tactfully,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Mike Tyson is going to star in a new show on Animal Planet
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-Jimmy Fallon
A young man asks his father, "Dad, what does a vagina look
like"?
The father replies, "Well, son, before sex, imagine a
beautiful rose getting ready to open it's petals in bloom."
The son then asks, "What about after sex?"
And the father replies, "Imagine a bulldog eating mayonase."
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"There are rumors that the Obama administration may ban
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fisherman,' and NPR says 'Obama protects aquatic unicorns,'
and I don't know who to believe." -Craig Ferguson
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The Down Side of Cubicles:
* Being told to "Think outside the box"' when I'm in the
fucking box all day?
* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first
seeing who is behind me.
* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from
any kind of gunfire.
* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button,
I will get a piece of cheese.
* Lack of rafters for the noose.
* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work
right.
* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip
without comment.
* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants
off.
* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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