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Thursday, August 27, 2015
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The other night I was sitting by myself at the kitchen table and my thoughts began to wander back to all the friends that I don't have anymore. Just then my wife appeared and took a seat next to me.
"Penny for your thoughts," she said handing me a cup of coffee.
"I was just wondering why I don't see any of my old friends anymore. I mean, I know we all have families and all of that, but come on, we used to have dozens of friends. There wasn't a weekend we didn't have plans. I don't see why we shouldn't be able to hook up once in a while."
"Well, TZ, you are kind of an asshole..."
Succinctly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.com
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A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?"
His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
A MALE FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and dated thin, long-legged, full-breasted women, and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to titty bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching and and never paid child support or alimony, and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns, and ate spam and potato chips and beans, and blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was friggin' cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
The End.
This is perhaps the most profound philosophy I have heard:
Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free.
It's women who make it hard.
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure," said the husband, "but I think she choked!"