Monday, March 7, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
As my grandfather was always dropping pearls on me. One of
the gems he gave me was, "TZ, marry a woman with small
hands. It makes your dick look bigger." But the one that
just popped into my head is, "TZ, getting old ain't for
pussies." And lately, as I feel the effects of 47 years of
crawling around on this dirt, I've come to appreciate his
wisdom.
I've been suspecting that I'm getting old, but something
just happened to prove it. I walked into the office,
sarcastically thanked our tri-athlete IT guy for the donuts
he brought in, told the other IT guy that we were going to
nail him to a cross for a mistake he made causing the email
system to send duplicate order confirmation emails out to
a bunch of our customers, then told the head of customer
service that I would bang her for two hours to make up for
the extra telephone calls the IT guy's mistake caused. No,
that's not what made me feel old. That's all just part of a
normal day.
What made me feel old is when I sat down into my chair I sat
on my own balls.
Jumpingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"New York City's Mayor Bloomberg has banned outdoor smoking.
Gun smoke, radioactive steam, and the guy on the corner
roasting a goat are still no problem." -David Letterman
Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining
farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were
sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the
hills, Bill spied his prize bull fucking one of his cows.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and
figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word
on Mabel. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear,
"Mabel, I'd sure like to be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is
YOUR cow."
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"In a new book, the Pope exonerates the Jews for the death
of Jesus. Well, not a moment too soon. He really nipped that
one in the bud." -Jay Leno
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top
of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, Stopped them and told them they
would either have to remove the sign Or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop
them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled. "Their
sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their
sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer In the area
when he noticed the two ladies Driving around with a large
sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with
them when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com