Thursday, September 30, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Lewis and I overheard one of the women in the office telling
another that she was going to the gyno.
"You gals are lucky," I interjected.
"How so," they asked.
"Well, no matter how ugly you are?-and I'm not saying you're
that ugly?-but no matter how ugly you are, at least twice a
year you can go to a place where someone will shove something
up your snatch. Guys just don't have anything like that."
Lewis nodded in agreement. "Yes, if we are unfortunate enough
to be both ugly and suffer social awkwardness we're shit out
of luck."
The-grass-is-always-greener,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's
penis and I thought, Oh, my God--I'm turning into my mother!"
--Sarah Silverman
The new stewardess was summoned to the office of the head of
the training program for a severe reprimand.
"I heard about that episode on your first flight, Miss Larson,"
said the director, glaring over the top of her glasses. "From
now on, whenever a passenger feels faint, I'll thank you to
push his head down between his OWN legs!"
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"A 3-year-old boy in Florida showed up to school with 20
ounces of pot. The school board was outraged but the kid's
teacher was like, 'Hey, it beats an apple.'" -Craig Ferguson
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A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his
birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very
expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but
she didn't want to spend a fortune.
'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They
say it's been trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,'
he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if
it's true...no more blow jobs for her!
She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was
extremely sceptical and laughed it off!
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to
perform this Less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of
pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging
and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only
to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook you're
history.'
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com