Thursday, February 16, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was standing in line at the local supermarket when I noticed the guy ahead of me was the urologist I went to see about six years ago when I had a painful knot on one of my balls.

"Hey, Doc," I said, "how are you?"

"Hello," he said looking at me trying to figure out who the hell I was. "Did I treat you?" he asked in his sing song voice (he's an Indian...dots not feathers).

"You sure did. I had a urinary tract infection that caused an epididymus infection," I remembered. "You gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way. You did repeatedly tell me: 'You shouldn't masturbate so much.'"

The doctor just stared at me. "You've got quite the memory."

"Yeah, well, I never forget anyone who's had my balls in their hands."

Healingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



"The son of Hugh Hefner has been arrested on a charge of domestic violence. When he heard this, Hugh Hefner said, 'Son, there's a right way and a wrong way to disrespect women.'" -Conan O'Brien



After many years of bachelorhood, this older gent finds and marries a beautiful young lady. On their honeymoon night she slips into a sheer negligee and a comfortable bed as he goes into the bathroom to prepare himself for glory.

Five minutes go by. Ten minutes go by. Concerned, the bride goes into the bathroom, where she finds her aged husband furiously masturbating.

She smiles and says, "You're married now. You don't have to do that anymore."

Her husband looks at her a bit bewildered and says, "Oh, I forgot."



"On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg." -Jimmy Kimmel



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern furiously pounding shots of whiskey. His friend happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles and then slurs, "Not anymore!"