Monday, October 24, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Today the bitches in the office were talking about man-crushes. Men that other men admire, idolize...maybe find physically attractive.

One girl said her husband was a huge fan of Russell Crowe and another said her husband just LOVED Peyton Manning.

"Who is your man-crush, TZ" they asked me.

I thought about it for a few seconds, "I would have to say Tony Randall."

"Tony Randall? The dead guy from The Odd Couple? Why?"

"Because he was everything I wish I was. He was intelligent, articulate, accomplished and he knocked up his 25-year-old wife when he was 77.

"Now that's a man I can admire."

Idolizingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com



"One town in Alaska is called Deadhorse. Another one is called ? and I'm not making this up ? Manley hot springs. Which is also the name of a club here in West Hollywood." -Craig Ferguson



Renault and Ford are collaborating on a new small car for women which should be far less susceptible to theft. They are mixing the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus, calling it the Clitaurus. The average male thief won't be able to find it, let alone operate the damn thing!



"In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his 9-year-old daughter drive their van for him. Yeah. As he was being arrested, he told the girl, 'I'm going to need a lawyer. Go get your little brother.'" -Conan O'Brien



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A biker was riding along the road when he saw a girl about to jump off a bridge. So he stopped.

He gets off his bike and says, "Hey, honey, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he also didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does... And it was a long, passionate, deep-tongued, lingering, thrilling kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "That was the best kiss I've had in a long time. That's a real talent you are going to waste. You're a hot, passionate, young thing. Why are you committing suicide?"

"Because, my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."