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Thursday, May 19, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read a story about how the city of New York has just passed some new laws which make it a finable offense for landlords and businesses to refuse to refer to transgender people by their preferred gender pronoun.

For example; it is common among the GBLT community (and I'm not sure, but I think that stands for Gay Bacon Lettuce and Tomato) for people to refer to themselves as 'ze' instead of she and 'hir' instead of him.

But it appears, the way new law is described, that the policy is to ask everyone what their preferred gender pronoun is, so options are not limited to he or she, or even ze or hir.

This opens up all sorts of opportunities. As I pointed out in an earlier issue of Laff-a-Day, I feel like I missed out on this new sexual identity revolution.

So therefore, I don't want people to refer to me as he or him anymore.

I now want you to say... Nee!

Equal Opportunistically,


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"A restaurant at Columbia University that was run out of a student's dorm was shut down this week due to pressure from the health department. The restaurant had a particular schedule. It was open 24 hours-a-day, unless there was a sock on the door. Then give it about 15 minutes. Well, they're college kids, give them five." -James Corden

A husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table and the man was reading the ads in the paper.

He looked up and said, "Here is a great sale on tires!"

His wife replied, "What do you want tires for? You don't have a car."

He came back with, "I don't complain when you go out and buy a new bra, do I?!"

"American Express is suing Charlie Sheen for an unpaid credit card balance of over $200,000. How did he blow that much money? Oh, right. Answered my own question." -Seth Meyers

A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, "Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!"

"Oh?" says the mother, amused. "And how old is Janie?"

"Six," replies the boy.

"Well," says the father, "what are you going to do for money?"

"I get 5 dollars a week allowance," says the son, "and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we'll be okay."

"I see," says the father. "But what are you going to do if you have any children?"

"Well," says the boy, "so far we've been lucky."

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