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Sunday, July 10, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I have never been much of a people person, but I think I would really like to work in our customer service department, but only long enough to field one very specific type of call about one of our better-selling products.

Eventually a customer would call in and ask, "Do you have Dryer Balls?"

And I would get to say, "Dryer than what?"

I might take weeks or even months, but I think it would be worth it. Sometimes a great punchline takes patience and sacrifice.



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This girl I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and spontaneous."

But when I tapped on her kitchen window late at night dressed up as a clown it's all panic and screaming.

A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quadruplets, four big, healthy, baby boys."

The redneck said proudly, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney."

The nurse replied, "Well, you might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."

I hate tampon commercials because they create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.

Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.

This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in--late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again!"

So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in.

Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a bang and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, did ya?"

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