Monday, February 6, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

When I read the list of redneck pick-up lines you'll find below it reminded me of the way I first charmed my wife all those years ago. I said, "What can I get for a fifty?"

That's a joke, of course. What I actually said was, "Do we really have to involve the police in this?"

Reminiscingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



TOP TEN REDNECK PICK UP LINES........

1. Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2. Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3. My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4. If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

5. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

6. I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

7. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this here cheap motel room.

8. Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

9. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

10. Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.



After both suffering depression for a while, my wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday.

But strangely enough, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better, so I thought Fuck it, I'll soldier on!



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? Death. What's that...a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.

(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.

(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

(3) You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, play golf, you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School.

(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby;

(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, then you finish off as an orgasm!