Thursday, February 24, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
TZ, Have you not heard of the male equivalent
to Valentine's day? It's March 14th, Steak
and BJ Day. It doesn't matter how cold it is
outside, I buy an inch and a half thick ribeye
or NY Strip, fire up the grill, and make my
husband a medium rare steak. Then he gets a
bj and possibly 2 that night since he already
gets one every other day. He knows that the
attentiveness he shows on Valentine's day is
directly proportional to the attentiveness I
give him on steak & BJ day. -Karen
Yes, I have heard of it, but my wife hasn't, no matter how
many times I tell her about it. However, she will be out of
town the weekend of the 12th and 13th if you're available.
Compromisingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A computer beat the humans on 'Jeopardy!' The computer may
be smart, but will a machine ever be able to smell a flower
or experience joy? And when I say Joy, I mean Joy Behar."
-Craig Ferguson
A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find
his wife angry and waiting for him at the door.
"Out drinking again!?" she says. "How much money did you spend
this time?"
"$100," answers the man.
"$100!" she shouts. "That's ridiculous, spending that much in
one night!"
"Easy for you to say," he replies. "You don't smoke, you don't
drink, and you have your own pussy."
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I know that many of you have heard religious fanatics and
right-wingers speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one
has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy
directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:
6:00 AM Gym and Tanning Bed
8:00 AM Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 AM Hair Appointment
10:00 AM Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch (Salmon Benedict, roasted potatoes, mimosa)
2:00 PM
(1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State, and
Local Governments, as well as all other national governments;
(2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle;
(3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages;
(4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents
of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels;
(5) Establish planetary chain of "homo-breeding gulags", where
overmedicated imprisoned straight women are turned into
artificially-impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent
love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership;
(6) Bulldoze all houses of worship; and,
(7) Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for
the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles caused by
the stress of world conquest.
3:30 PM Protein Shake
4:00 PM Tea Dance
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, and skinless chicken
breast, with a crisp Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theatre
11:00 PM Bed du Jour
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com