Thursday, July 26, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Magilla, Lewis and I were on the phone setting up a meeting and then a round of golf with some stiff whose office in downtown.

"Friday works for me if you don't mind meeting while my cleaning lady is here," he said.

"Is she hot?" I asked.

"No," he said, "not at all. Why, do you have a hot cleaning lady."

I answered, "Yep--my wife."

"Oh."

Tickle-your-ass-with-a-feather-dusterly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"I let a stripper talk me into getting my nipples pierced. It didn't take her much to convince me. It doesn't take women much to talk me into doing anything, really. She was beautiful, I'd seen her naked...that's all it usually takes." -Drew Carey



At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Dot you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.

The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatist, steadfastly replied,

"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back in my face, I can use it again."



"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."

"Then what does it do?"

"Why would it need to do anything else?"

--Dogbert, Dilbert



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A chicken farmer went to a local bar and sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," the chicken farmer says. "This is a special day for me. I am celebrating"

"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence!" says the chicken farmer! As they clink glasses the man asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!' says the woman. "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"