Monday, April 30, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The wife was volunteering at the community center this weekend. So pretty much she was gone from nine in the morning until nine at night both Saturday and Sunday.

That left me in charge of the house and the kids.

Well, "in charge" is a liberal interpretation of the situation. I was chauffeur, cook and referee. After 48 hours they had me worn pretty thin.

It was nothing in particular, just the constant whining, needling and demanding. Without even realizing it I had shifted into a sort of permanent disciplinary mode.

Sunday night my sixteen-year-old asked me something, I don't remember what, something about dinner, and after I answered her I noticed her somewhat shocked and slightly hurt expression.

"What?" I demanded.

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"I'm not yelling!" I shouted. "This is just how dads talk."

Parentally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that kids who work more than 20 hours a week at a job are more likely to get bad grades. On the other hand, China." -Jimmy Fallon



A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born: "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."

The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy...not a fucking photo-copier."



"Today is the 20th annual Bring Your Child to Work Day. It's a great opportunity to show your kids why you come home so miserable every day." -Jimmy Kimmel



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A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, "What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?"

The doctor replied, "It won't do anything for his condition, but it will keep the sheets off his legs."