Thursday, April 5, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I'm writing this before heading out to squeeze in a little afternoon golf. My wife is pretty pissed because I've been playing a lot lately--well, the weather has been so unseasonably warm, it really doesn't make any sense for me NOT to! Frankly, I don't get it. I don't bitch or moan when she wants to do anything. Can you imagine if I did?

Her: "Honey, I need to go to the store to get some milk."

Me: "Don't you think you're going too far? You're always going to the store! It's gotten so that we don't even see you anymore. Can't you plan your trips better... maybe try shopping for an entire week at a time?"

You-get-the-picture-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



A survey ran by The Irish Institute of Women's Rights based in Shannon, Ireland found that over 92 percent of the women suffering from spousal abuse had one factor in common: None of them knew when to shut the fuck up.



Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?"

She frowned and said, "The postman. He always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."



What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



A young man moved out from home and into his first apartment. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young blonde lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears?! Look at these breasts; they are a full 39 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."