Thursday, August 14, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I'll tell you why I love my wife. She's an attractive woman, but there are women who are sexier. She's educated, but there are women who are smarter.

No, the reason I love my wife is the way she thinks.

We were driving the other day and she pointed out a personalized license plate to me. It was a big pick-up truck with a Harley Davidson bumper sticker and those bullet hole decals on the back window. The license plate read: DRT BAG.

The wife turned to me and asked, straight-faced, "Why would anyone want the license plate Dr. T-Bag?"

That's my wife,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you."

A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself."



I've been married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot, 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed...



I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was.

I said, "I don't know... re-election to the Senate?"



Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives.

"My wife is mad at me again," says the first.

"Why?"

"I was bombed at the bar across the street last night and she came looking for me."

"What'd you do?"

"I asked her for her phone number."