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Monday, November 2, 2009

Greetings Laff Lovers,

As I was walking out the door this morning my wife gave me
a plate covered with foil.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Lasagna."

"I don't want it. I hate heating up food at work."

"Take it, TZ. It's going to go bad."

"When?"

"Soon."

"Is it bad now?"

"It didn't look bad."

"When did we eat lasagna?"

"Just take it, TZ. You can eat glass and not get hurt."

So I took it and went to heat it up in the microwave at
lunch time. Clean Laffs Joe was just putting his food in.
While I waited I peeled the foil and examined the lasagna.

"Does this look bad to you?" I asked shoving the dish under
Joe's nose.

"Hang on," he said as he opened the mic, stirred his food,
closed the door and reset the timer. "I don't know. I guess
it looks OK."

Another minute went by and he stirred his food again.

"Jesus, Joe," I said. "My food was going bad this morning,
by the time you're finished stirring your freakin' food mine
will be petrified."

"It doesn't heat evenly if you don't stir it."

"And my ass gets cheesy if I don't wipe it. Now hurry the
fuck up, I'd like to eat before the swallows return to
Capistrano."

Impatiently,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



Pillow Play - iPod Pillow W/ Speakers
Makes A Great Gift & It's 1/2 Price...

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two for: $15.98 - An Additional $4.00 Savings

This iPod pillow speaker is perfect if you love to go to bed
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And it has a built-in radio too! Makes a Great Gift for kids,
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The portable mp3 speaker is compatible with any iPod or mp3
player, as well as other audio sources such as CD players.

FEATURES:
- Pressure sensitive controls
- Tune into your favorite radio station
- Play all models of iPod, MP3 players or CD players
- Zipper compartment on back to plug and stash your player
- Shell is PU Leather (vinyl like) which makes it able to be wiped clean.=

- Control area is plush and soft to the touch.
- Runs on 4 'AA' batteries (INCLUDED)and neatly stored in side Velcro poc=
ket

Grab one for $9.99 or get two for $15.98... great gift item...
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"Scientists say they have discovered a cure for erectile
dysfunction that involves only one needle injection into
the penis. A spokesperson for men said, 'Get back to us
when it requires zero injections in the penis.'"
-Conan O'Brien



A Pole, and Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers, are
pacing nervously in the maternity ward waiting room when a
nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby.

"Is it yours?" she asks the Italian.

"Certainly not," he replies.

"Yours?" she asks the Pole, who vigorously denies paternity.

"How about you?" she asks the Jew.

"Maybe," he says glumly. "My wife burns everything."



Yes you can say goodbye to Closet Clutter...
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Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine;
Tropisms make the ivy twine;
Rayleigh scattering makes skies so blue;
Testicular hormones is why I love you.



Mini Wet & Dry Shaver
The Smallest Most Powerful Shaver Ever.....

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $17.98

The wet & dry shaver lasts up to 10x longer than standard battery
shavers. Whether at home or traveling the ultra compact, waterproof
design allows for easy portability.... It is smaller than a
credit card!

But don't let the size fool you... The sleek metal top provides a
close, clean shave with a surface area twice the size of
conventional blades.

FEATURES:
- Provides Ultra Smooth Shaves
- Smaller Than Your Credit Card - 3 1/4" x 1 1/2" x 1/2".
- Convenient For Travel
- Wet & Dry Operation
- As Powerful (or more in some cases) Than A Full Size Shaver.
- Cordless (Uses two AAA Batteries - not included)

Get one for $9.99 or save an additional $4.00 and get two for
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The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold
on Bob, and after he'd finished a good dinner, he relaxed
mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff
drink in his hand.

His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed
onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a gift
out of him by snuggling, murmuring and fondling him.

"Jesus, woman, get off of me!" he exploded. "It's bad enough
I have to deal with this at the office I don't want to come
home to it, too!"



Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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