Monday, July 21, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I grabbed a shirt from the closet this morning and noted that it did not look familiar to me. I put it on and thought, "Nice shirt."

I got to the office and Lewis and a couple of the ladies were milling about.

"Nice shirt," Marzee, the editor of The Daily Recipe said.

"Yeah, I thought so, too," I said. "But I don't remember ever seeing it before."

Lewis grabbed my collar to look at the tag. "Must belong to one of the guys your wife is banging."

Possibly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. In my script it clearly said: "Enter Juliette from the rear."



"I don't care what your hobby is before puberty hits, because as soon as it does, nature assigns you a new one. Let's just say that when I was 14 I was treated for tennis elbow, and I didn't even own a racquet. I wasn't exactly subtle about my self-discovery either. I had tiki torches all around my bed, a poster of Farrah Fawcett on my ceiling and a spring-loaded tissue dispenser on my nightstand while I worked my own crank like it was the gearshift on a Volkswagen bus that I was trying to rock out of a mudhole. Ah, the good old days--last Thursday." -Dennis Miller



"My God!" complained the wife to her husband, "I come home with a little cum in my hair and right away you jump to conclusions."



A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?' He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?'

He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.'

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.

'Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?'

He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra... I'm still not hungry.'

'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm fucking starving!'