Monday, May 14, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,


TZ, I talked to one of your customer service girls and she told me you're not the wild man you come off as being in your 'zine. But I knew you'd like this one:


A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?"

The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier."

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."

-Jim


Very funny, Jim. And if one of our customer service girls said that about me it is probably because I'm doing her and she doesn't want to let the secret out of the bag.

Illicitly,


TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Time magazine has a controversial new cover. They put it out for Mother's Day. It's a real mom feeding her 3-year-old son. Don't look at it as the source of future humiliation for the boy. Try to look at it as the event that helped shape him into history's most fearsome cage fighter." -Jimmy Kimmel



Two friends were hanging out in a Western bar. One decided to try the Bucking Bronco machine. He managed to hang on for five whole minutes.

His buddy was impressed. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "That was sure something!"

"It was easy," his friend said modestly. "I get lots of practice. My wife's an epileptic."



There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest tits.