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Thursday, May 15, 2014Greetings Laff Lovers,
Do you think we get more or less emotionally sensitive as we get older? A friend of mine was telling me about his breakup with the latest in a long string of girlfriends.
It was bad. They had a big fight. There was yelling and name calling. Then he told me the last thing he said to her, "Yeah, well, your pussy stinks! I never wanted to hurt your feelings and tell you, but it smells like a homeless person's ass."
"So," I asked, "you think you'll be getting back together with her?"
Kindly,
TZ
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A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl.
"My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck!' the Rottweiler ate her!"
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My friend finally agreed to marry his long-time significant other.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've been thinking - now that we are married we should spend more time together. I think it's time you quit playing golf. Maybe you could sell your golf clubs."
My friend was startled, a horrified look was on his face.
She said, "Oh, darling, what's wrong?"
He said, "For a minute there you sounded just like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screamed, I didn't know you'd been married before!"
He replied, "I haven't!"