Monday, June 14, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The wife took the kids to see her parents this weekend,
so I did what any responsible husband and father would
do with 48 uninterrupted hours of free time and a house
full of repairs, errands and chores to do. I played 45
holes of golf.
I was like a 12-year-old who just discovered masturbation.
I played with myself until I was sore.
As a matter of fact, I'm still so sore that it hurts too
much to even masturbate, oddly enough.
Ironically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Not only is this cool, it is exceptional too...
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SO MANY FEATURES...
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- Magnetic End (great for attaching it to any metal surface
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"BP has the worst safety record of all the oil companies
and has paid $373 million in fines. They don't call them
fines though, they're called 'campaign contributions.'"
-Jay Leno
[I know this one is old, but this joke cracks me up...]
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apart-
ment and find a man holding a 5-iron in his hands, standing
over the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man, answers. He stifles a sob, drops
the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...maybe six ...put me down for a five."
4 in 1 Safety Light
Not only is this cool, it is exceptional too...
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"'Repo Men' came out today, starring Jude Law as a guy who
rips out your internal organs if you can't pay for them. Or
as we call that in the U.S. ? your insurance company."
-Jimmy Fallon
FULL SIZE (3' x 5') AMERICAN FLAG
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We are pleased to announce that we have found Full-Size 3'x5'
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A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling
insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch
on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never
be bitten again, I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a propo-
sition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered
with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you
come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you."
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he
stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug
spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the
farmer.
The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to
the corn field. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging
in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total
wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite
on him.
The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't
have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil
happened?"
The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,
"For crying out loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a
Mother!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
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