Monday, November 26, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

We were watching TV when a commercial for a new anti-aging cream came on. There were before and after pictures of older women with normal smile lines and crows feet that mysteriously disappeared after rubbing this Sta-Tight stuff all over their faces.

"Wow," I said grabbing a pencil and writing down the number, "I'm going to get some of this stuff."

"What on earth for?" my wife asked. "Are you that vain?"

"It ain't for me, baby," I said. "It's for your poonani. After three kids you could use a little tightening."

Cut-offly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study says that it actually takes men longer to shop on the internet then it does for them to shop in an actual store. Well of course! There's no naked women at the stores." --Jay Leno



A guy and a girl are lying in a bed after just having sex. The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests. The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man, I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."

The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"

"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity."

Astounded, the girl replies, "So you really love me?"

"Oh, God no!" the guy says. "I just got sick of waiting."



"A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby. They actually have a name for those parents: 'celebrities.'" -Jimmy Fallon



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A salesman went to the door of a young couple one day and rang the doorbell. After 3 rings and no answer, he assumed no one was home and decide to leave. He happened to pass by an open window and saw the couple naked on the sofa.

Being a pervert, he peered closer to get a better look. He notice the woman was sitting with her legs wide open, shaving her pubic area while staring at her husband. He, on the other hand, was naked, stroking himself, shaking his head wildly back and forth with his free hand splashing in the fish tank.

The salesman was embarrassed when a neighbor walked up and found him peeping. "These people need help!" said the salesman.

"No, they dont," replied the neighbor. "They're deaf, and the wife is just telling her husband he needs to trim the bushes, but the husband is telling the wife 'Fuck no! I'm going fishing.'"