Thursday, May 24, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I met Clean Laffs Joe out in the hall on his way into the office, and being the gentleman I am I held the door open for him.

"Thanks," he said.

"Anything I can do to help," I answered offhand.

"Oh yeah? Anything?" he came back.

"Well, anything but a cash loan or a handjob," I qualified. Then thinking about it for a second I added, "Or pretty much anything sexually related. And I probably wouldn't let you borrow my car. I don't want you anywhere near my house or my family.

"I don't want to hear your problems, and don't ask me for advice.

"I won't cover for you when you're gone.

"I won't lie to your wife when you're out blowin' some random guy.

"And I won't let you win at darts just to make you feel like a man."

"So not exactly 'anything'," Joe said.

"Anything door related," I concluded.

Qualifyingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I went to the club last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. So I said, "Great legs!"

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "You really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."



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An avid skier decided that he would ski all the major mountains in the world. He spent a decade at this, climbing and then skiing the world's major peaks. Finally he decided he must ski Mt. Fuji, in Japan. He bade farewell to his wife and set off for the Land of the Rising Sun.

The fateful day came, the weather was right, and the skier climbed to the top of Fuji and skied down. So thrilled was he with his achievement that he decided to send his wife a postcard of Mt. Fuji, describing his feat. While in the shop buying the postcard, he decided, on a whim, to buy a postcard picturing a young, scantily clad geisha to send to his buddy who couldn't make the trip.

Unfortunately, he wrote the wrong messages on the cards, and sent them to the wrong recipients. On the back of the card showing Mt. Fuji, which he mistakenly sent to his buddy, he wrote: "Having fun in Japan!" And on the back of the card showing the scantily clad geisha, which he mistakenly sent to his wife, he wrote, "Here's a picture of the slope I went down on Thursday!"