Monday, August 16, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
For the most part I am very satisfied with my sex life. My
wife knows and is patient with my short-comings and I have
learned a few tricks over the years of our marriage that
keep her happy.
But recently it occurred to me that my wife and I have never
done anal except for a couple unsuccessful nights of experi-
mentation way back before we had kids.
So last night I brought it up to her while she was making
dinner in the kitchen.
"Sure," she said to my proposal without even a moment's
hesitation.
"Really?"
"Yes. Just one thing, though."
"What is it?" I asked.
She turned to me and held up the zucchini she was peeling,
"You first."
Debatingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"You know those controversial TSA full-body scanners? Well,
they are coming to airports here in New York next month.
Great. Normally I take a Xanax before I fly, now I have to
take a Viagra." -Jimmy Fallon
Three blondes are sitting in a cafe, talking about what to
get their boyfriends for Christmas.
"It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold
as ice when I blow him! I think I should get him some ball
warmers for Christmas."
"You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with
my Richard!"
They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you
blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my
mouth!" exclaimed Candi.
"You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the
best way to keep a guy! You should try it! It would make a
great Christmas gift for Chris!"
Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet
at the cafe it is Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked
shiner.
"Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?"
"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said.
"What on earth for?" the Jenny asked.
"I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas
present like you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was
that his balls were so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so
cold, and he punched me."
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"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation
point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to
know." --Mistinguette (French actress)
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for
the outback. On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a
sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and
ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it
back, he saw a bloke with one leg masturbating furiously at
the bar.
"For fuck's sake!" the bloke cried, "what the hell's going
on here? I've been here one hour and I've seen a bloke
shagging a sheep, and now some bloke's wanking himself off
in the bar!"
"Fair dinkum, mate," the bartender told him, "you can't
expect a man with only one leg to catch a sheep!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com