Thursday, November 17, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I have been diligently following the news about this nation wide "occupy" movement. I am fascinated with it, probably because I can sympathize with these people, but more because I see it as a social symptom. If you take away enough of peoples' money, freedom and opportunities there is going to be a consequence, and I think these demonstrations are the beginning of that. There is more to this than those idiots who were looting and rioting in the streets of London earlier this year. This is an organized, sustained movement...albeit a poorly organized one.

I was talking about it with my wife the other night. "I wish I could get involved myself," I said. "There are too many morons ending up in front of TV cameras. They need more people with brains who can articulate what the real problem is!"

"I know you do, Honey," she sympathized, "but you have a job to keep and a family to take care of. You can't go live in a park downtown for a month."

"I know, I know, but I want to get involved! I want to occupy something!"

"Come upstairs," she said with a twinkle in here eye, "I'll show you what you can occupy."

Participatingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that dogs are smarter than cats because their friendliness has helped them develop bigger brains. Cat people would complain about the findings, but that would involve interacting with other humans." -Jimmy Fallon



After Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!



"Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill." -Henry Louis Mencken



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The Polack was getting friendly with the woman at the bar. She rubbed up against him and, to her surprise, she felt something thick and rock hard. She invited him back to her place and took him into the bedroom.

But when he pulled off his pants, she was shocked to see a foot-long length of steel pipe between his legs. "How did you get that?" she demanded.

The Polack said, "A couple of months ago my penis began dripping."

She asked, "So you went to a doctor?"

"The doctor was too expensive. So I called a plumber."