Thursday, June 19, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I think I need to find new friends. For Father's Day I decided to treat myself to an early round of golf after one of my golfing buddies suggested a cheap, new place he found.

I met him at six o'clock in the morning and we started driving toward the city. About 40 minutes later we were on the south east side of Chicago, which is sort of a no-man's land between Chicago and the crumbling industrial centers of Indiana.

He was pulling into what looked like an oil refinery when I asked him where in the hell we were going.

"This is it!" he answered.

"But this looks like an old oil refinery," I protested.

"It is an old oil refinery. They're in the process of demolishing it. The golf course is behind it."

"Well, why does the starter look like a homeless guy?" I said, pointed through the windshield at a disheveled character standing on the first green.

"Because that is a homeless guy. Sometimes they sleep on the course. Come on. Quit being such a pussy and get out of the car."

So we played 18 holes in the reek and shadow of a rusting petro-chemical factory. Let me put it this way; you do NOT want to reach into any of those water hazards to retrieve a ball.

The highlight of the morning came as we were teeing off on hole 16 and the morning was punctuated by a gunshot. My partner seemed unfazed, guaranteeing me any stray bullets were unlikely to cross the fairway, but I still would have walked off the course right then and there if I weren't already six strokes ahead of him.

Needless to say we made it home alive and unscathed, but I admit I was awfully happy to see my wife and kids again.

Slummingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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