Thursday, November 12, 2009
Greetings Laff Lovers,
What terrible timing. The wife and I were supposed to fly to
Texas this weekend to help out my nephew who is in the middle
of a nasty divorce, but her flu just doesn't seem to want to
give up. So I'm going by myself.
My poor nephew. He's 28-years-old and his wife basically went
nuts, packed up and left him. Now he doesn't know what to
do with himself anymore. He's running around like a bachelor
again, going to clubs, hanging out with strange women. What
he needs is someone to spend some time with him and give him
some perspective on all these women he's hanging out with and
all of this partying he's doing.
Hang on a minute...maybe this isn't such bad timing after all.
Counselingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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How to Turn Down Unwanted Men
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go out once or twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
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A Jewish businessman warned his son against marrying a non-
Jew. The son replied, "But she's converting to Judaism."
"It doesn't matter," the old man said. "A shiksa will cause
problems."
But the son persisted. After the wedding, the father called
the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he
was not at work. "It's Shabbos," the son replied.
The father was surprised: "But we always work on Saturday.
It's our busiest day."
"I won't work Saturdays anymore," the son insisted, "because
my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos."
"See," the father said. "I told you marrying a non-Jew would
cause problems."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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