Thursday, August 28, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I seriously do not know how these conversations get started, but Lewis and I were discussing the semantic difference between a whore and a slut.

"A slut is a woman who will sleep with anyone. A whore is a woman who will sleep with anyone but you!" Lewis quipped, trying to give the ancient gag some new life.

"You're putting too much thought into it," I chastised him. "Whores and sluts are the same thing. A whore is just a slut with a little business savvy."

Simply,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Sometime during the life of nearly every man there will come a time when the discussion comes around guts and balls. We've all heard at one time or another that some guy has "balls" or "guts". While some may view those terms as one-in-the-same, there is a very clear medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls". But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed should the subject surface in the future, here are the definitions:

GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the GUTS to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the BALLS to say, "You're next, Chubby!"

I hope this clears up any confusion regarding the definitions. Medically, speaking there is no difference in the outcome.



These two guys go to a whorehouse.

The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better."

The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."



I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days."

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute.

"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she giggled.

So I told her to fuck off.