Thursday, August 12, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Here is a great example of what's wrong with America. The
other day I stopped at a local burger joint out here by
the office because they had sent me a whole sheet of coupons
in the mail, and the burgers are pretty good. So I tore the
coupon I wanted off the sheet and walked up to the door.
Standing there, right by the entrance, was a man arguing
with his three little kids. "You and Sally are gonna have
to share a hamburger," I overhear him saying, "and nobody
gets any sodas! I don't have enough money."
Struck by a moment of altruism and philanthropy I said, "Hey
buddy, if you're interested I have almost a whole sheet of
coupons for this place. Free sides, free pops, free ice cream
cones. Hang on a second, I'll get it out of my car."
I jogged back, grabbed the sheet off of the front seat and
walked back over to him. "Here you go," I said holding it
out to him, "take whatever ones you want."
He glanced at the sheet and then at the coupon in my other
hand for buy one delux cheeseburger, get one free and said,
"I like the one you got!"
So I told him to go fuck himself.
Disillusionedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
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"A man in Ohio was arrested for pushing his kids in a
stroller while he was drunk. Police could tell the man was
drunk because his kids are in their late 20s." -Jimmy Fallon
The guy says, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting it up."
The doctor examines him and says, "You'll need to have some
work done to bring back your sex drive. I can do it in a
series of operations that will take thirty days and cost
twelve thousand dollars, or I can do it in one operation
right away that would cost thirty thousand dollars. Why
don't you go home and discuss it with your wife?"
The next day the guy comes back into the doctor's office.
The doctor says, "What did you decide?"
He says, "We're going to re-do the kitchen."
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"Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea," a patient told his
urologist on the phone. "The only woman he's screwed is
our maid."
"Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a kid," the medic
soothed. "Get him in here right away and I'll take care
of him."
"But, Doc. I've been screwing the maid too and I've got
the same symptoms he has."
"Then you come in with him and I'll fix you both up."
Replied the doctor.
"Well," the man admitted, " I think my wife now has it
too."
"Son of a bitch!" the physician roared. "That means we've
all got it!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com