Thursday, December 17, 2009
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The big holidays are just about here, but at least our big
holiday party is out of the way. The last several years we
have been invited to various friends' and relatives' houses
and the wife insisted that this year we were socially
obligated to have one.
It was a lot of work, but it was fun. Even our neighbors,
who I usually can't stand for more than five minutes, were
tolerable and on good behavior. Probably because I didn't
have much booze in the house and everyone was forced to stay
sober.
The one highlight came when one of my wife's cousins was
with me in our basement and noticed my dartboard hanging
on the wall.
When he expressed some interest in it I invited him to a
game.
"I don't know if you want to do that," he chuckled at me.
"I'm pretty good."
"Okay," I countered, "We'll put ten bucks on it."
Needless to say I spanked him like a naughty little girl.
Afterward I mentioned it smuggly to my wife who was not as
impressed with my skills as I was. Worse, she made me give
back the ten bucks.
Victoriously,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Rapper 50 Cent is saying that Tiger Woods never would have
been caught if he had been more 'gangster.' In response,
Tiger said 50 Cent would have never been shot nine times if
he had been more 'golfer.'" -Conan O'Brien
A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment in
Arkansas, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady
in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get
their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily
agreed.
"Say, how old are you anyway?" the reporter asked as the
obviously young lass was disrobing.
"Thirteen," she replied with a shy smile.
"Thirteen? My God, girl! You get those clothes back on at once
and get the hell outta here! 13? You are crazy!" he thundered.
Pausing briefly at the door, the perplexed nymphet smiled and
said, "Superstitious, huh?"
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I have a sister who is about 6 years older than myself, and
who, after graduating high school, married a navy man.
After a short stint in Key West, my sister and new brother-
in-law were stationed at the Norfolk NAS in Virginia.
On the occasion of my 14th birthday, my sister sent me a
wonderful package. It was a real wooden box labeled
"Virginia's Finest Sampler."
The box contained several vacuum sealed ham steaks, a pound
of dry cured bacon, a jar of Red Clover honey, a cloth bag
of corn bread mix, another of buttermilk biscuit mix, and a
small tin of specially blended tea.
That evening, I skittered into the kitchen to cook up my
birthday meal. I cooked up the corn bread and ham, and
opened a can of turnip greens to go with it, but when I went
to brew up the tea, the little tin was no where to be found.
Yelling to my parents from the other room, "Has anyone seen
my tea?"
"Your What?" came the reply.
"MY TEA! I'VE LOST MY VIRGINIA TEA!"
I immediately heard my parents in uproarious laughter. After
composing themselves, the tea was located and dinner was
served.
I still have that little tin, which once held my precious
"Virginia tea," and it has become quite the topic of
conversation.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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