Monday, November 7, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I had a pretty tough weekend. Three cooped up kids constantly fighting, a long 'honey-do' list and a million other normally inconsequential incidents put me in a pretty constant state of irritation. But what really started the weekend off badly was what happened when I was making love to my wife on Friday night.

There we were, face to face, floating away on waves of passion. A passion created by the trust and security of marriage and shared parenthood. A relationship so old that I couldn't really remember what life had been like before her. Floating... Drifting... Feeling...

She smiled a truly content smile, sighed and opened her eyes. "AAARRRGGGHHH!" she screamed.

I popped up shouting, "What? What's wrong?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, TZ," she apologized. "I forgot it was you."

Substitutingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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If sex with three people is a threesome, AND sex with two people is a twosome...I now understand why they call you handsome.



There I was standing in a bar in New York and this little Chinese guy comes in and stands next to me.

I said to him, "Do you know any of that martial arts stuff, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says, "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer you slanty eyed little prick."



Customer: Give me 3 boxes of condoms, please.

Cashier: Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?

Customer: Nah, she ain't that ugly.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs, enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."