Thursday, August 29, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I stumbled across an article this morning about the 12 signs of depression in men. It is entitled, 12 Signs of Depression in Men.

Apparently more than 5 million men in the U.S. experience depression, although it gets reported much less frequently than depression in women.

So in order to educate men of this lurking epidemic the author listed 12 symptoms so the poor bastards cursed with a Y chromosome can diagnose themselves.

They include; fatigue (which boasts fun-sounding side effects like psychomotor retardation), sleeping too much or too little, stomach or back aches, irritability, hostility, stress, anxiety, substance abuse, sexual dysfunction, indecision and suicidal thoughts.

I don't know who the hell wrote that article, but I have at least 8 of those "symptoms" and I'm not depressed. I hate to break it to the author, but a large portion of the male population has a simpler term to describe those symptoms. Being over 45.

Diagnosingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Why is it when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut?

But when a guy does it, he's all of a sudden gay?



Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses."



Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.



Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."

The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two ass-holes." "What! He had two ass-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two ass-holes."