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My wife treats me like a god. |
This year we're going to flaunt tradition. |
Can you imagine me doing this? At my age? |
It's that horrible, horrible time of year again. |
It's time for something new. |
I feel like a vampire. |
Cold feet mean a warm heart. |
They're price gouging on Halloween candy. |
It's time for a classic 'cocktail party' like they had in the 60s. |
It's a dog's life. |
Just how many different types of beer are there? |
You don't get out much, do you? |
It's getting harder and harder to have fun in life. |
Sometimes it ain't easy being cheap. |
My wife was never a girl scout. |
Homeownership. |
There is a reason I only deep fry once a year. |
Gemutlichkeit doesn't come cheap. |
It's about time I start collecting. |
I'm going to have to get in there with a bucket and mop. |
The REAL yardstick of civilization. |
That's how you get a sinus infection. |
The cure for what ales ya'. |
What you can learn from a small Mexican fishing village. |
I have decided to unionize my house. |
Like walking around with a loaded gun. |
I always felt I had a career in the service industry. |
Don't let the heat boil your blood if you can help it. |
Mnemonics. |
Mary had a little barbecue. |
If you're not handsome you had better be funny. |
Realistically, beer is more than 90 percent water. |
The cops don't have much of a sense of humor. |
Things won't be as brutal as last year. |
Now, that's how you start your day. |
We're only half way there. |
Miracles do happen. |
'Who's that whisperin' in the trees?' |
The fantasy is still possible. |
151 cases of beer per person. |
The trick(s) to great grilled chicken wings. |
I missed another successful party. |
Down with the Stamp Act! |
Things just got real. |
It looks like I'm in for it again. |
Who knows? You might get lucky. |
I'm a failure at being a 10-year-old child. |
It was a hard thing to start doing again. |
Putting the old bellows and pump through a good stress test. |
The wilds of Michigan. |
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