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| Call me a pessimist, but I don't believe it. |
| The hipster stuff is wasted on me. |
| Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk. |
| Uh oh. I've lost my sense of taste. |
| I'm in the mood for a little role reversal this holiday. |
| There's two kinds of people in the world. I'm the other guy. |
| This season is all about bringing the world together. |
| There's off-color, and then there's just bad taste. |
| It's not harassment if she's into it. |
| Somebody's lying. |
| That's what you get for cheating. |
| The Thanksgiving chicken. |
| What I love about MILFs. |
| What would be the point of being married? |
| What are you going to do about it? |
| The spirit of Scrooge is alive and well in Great Britain. |
| 'Work less, live longer.' No sh!+? |
| Pursuing your passion will only lead to despair. |
| The WRONG way to wear a face mask. |
| One of the biggest lies nobody ever talks about. |
| A rolling kidney stone gathers no moss. |
| I should be so lucky. |
| Don't let them call you Stinky anymore. |
| You have to know how to talk to people. |
| Joie de vivre. |
| To girls who m@sturba+e: |
| I am not cut out for retail. |
| How vegetables can move a man. |
| You know what p!sses me off? |
| Who thought midday shopping could be so much fun? |
| It's all part of my *ock and **lls fantasy? |
| Creative finance. |
| One of the advantages of being married. |
| I don't want to cuddle with anything I'm prepared to eat. |
| The lesser of two evils? |
| Oh, the things I'd do to a papaya. |
| If the goal isn't an 0rga$m, what's the point? |
| A bit of fun, Chicago trivia. |
| I like my coffee like I like my women. |
| Racism, corruption, greed and Polish sausages. |
| Living in the past it makes it impossible to look toward the future. |
| This is what frustrated men have been waiting for. |
| The Leprechaun has got to go. |
| Psychosis may be a prerequisite for parenthood. |
| Men cannot get pregnant? Oh, really? |
| The readers respond in the usual fashion. |
| The first time Seattle has ever been a fun place to visit. |
| A gentleman always offers a helping hand. |
| A so-called 'fact' about women's br_@sts I'm not so sure about. |
| Sometimes it sucks being on the wagon. |
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