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My wife treats me like a god.
This year we're going to flaunt tradition.
Can you imagine me doing this? At my age?
It's that horrible, horrible time of year again.
It's time for something new.
I feel like a vampire.
Cold feet mean a warm heart.
They're price gouging on Halloween candy.
It's time for a classic 'cocktail party' like they had in the 60s.
It's a dog's life.
Just how many different types of beer are there?
You don't get out much, do you?
It's getting harder and harder to have fun in life.
Sometimes it ain't easy being cheap.
My wife was never a girl scout.
Homeownership.
There is a reason I only deep fry once a year.
Gemutlichkeit doesn't come cheap.
It's about time I start collecting.
I'm going to have to get in there with a bucket and mop.
The REAL yardstick of civilization.
That's how you get a sinus infection.
The cure for what ales ya'.
What you can learn from a small Mexican fishing village.
I have decided to unionize my house.
Like walking around with a loaded gun.
I always felt I had a career in the service industry.
Don't let the heat boil your blood if you can help it.
Mnemonics.
Mary had a little barbecue.
If you're not handsome you had better be funny.
Realistically, beer is more than 90 percent water.
The cops don't have much of a sense of humor.
Things won't be as brutal as last year.
Now, that's how you start your day.
We're only half way there.
Miracles do happen.
'Who's that whisperin' in the trees?'
The fantasy is still possible.
151 cases of beer per person.
The trick(s) to great grilled chicken wings.
I missed another successful party.
Down with the Stamp Act!
Things just got real.
It looks like I'm in for it again.
Who knows? You might get lucky.
I'm a failure at being a 10-year-old child.
It was a hard thing to start doing again.
Putting the old bellows and pump through a good stress test.
The wilds of Michigan.
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