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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Good morning crew,

You never know what some people will find funny. One of the customer service girls who sits in a cubicle across the aisle from me is frequently the (unwilling) audience to many of my best pearls.

The other day she was trying to decipher a customer complaint and she said, "This guy has got me all discombobulated."

So I said, "What makes you think you were combobulated to begin with?"

Not exactly the funniest thing I've ever said, but she must have laughed out loud at that for two solid minutes.

Then just this morning somebody asked who did some song or another, and my customer service neighbor answered, "Wasn't that Iron Maiden?"

And I interjected with, "No, it was Ferrous Fraulein."

Brilliant, right? But all I got from that was crickets.

Laugh it up,


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"Tomorrow is National Tequila Day. While the day after that is National 'Janice From HR Wants to See You in Her Office' Day." -Jimmy Fallon


"It's Shark Week. The Discovery Channel gets big ratings every year for this. Meanwhile, do you know how many people are killed by sharks every year? I looked this up today. Five. There are five shark fatalities per year in the world. We are deathly afraid of an animal that kills fewer people than Tide pods." -Jimmy Kimmel


"A California town recently opened a drive-thru marijuana dispensary, or as they're more commonly known, a Taco Bell." -Seth Meyers


As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get on my nerves. One day, I emerged from the bathroom completely exasperated when I bumped into my husband.

"What is it with guys that they won't replace the toilet paper?!" I raged.

"I know," he said, nodding in agreement. "I noticed that when I was in there earlier."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A man picks up his golf-indifferent girlfriend after he has come from the links. While he's driving the tees in his pocket fall out. His girlfriend asks, "Harry, what are those things that just fell out of your pockets?"

"Oh, those are called tees. I put my balls on them when I'm driving."

"Oh, well. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."