Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Whoever said women are bad at problem-solving needs to meet this go-getter.

The incident happened at an apartment complex in Great Falls, Montana. Molly Broxholm, an apartment resident, said she was woken up early in the morning by the sound of machinery and demolition.

The Great Falls Police responded to the apartment complex where they found 34-year-old Heather Houston who had stolen a front-end loader and driven it across town to the apartments.

According to Broxholm she: "Woke up to the sound of crunching thinking someone was doing yard work until we hear people yelling, looked out the window and saw this, on and smashing its way in. She then proceeded to climb into her window above us and get clothes."

She said that it appeared that the woman driving the excavator was topless at the time.

Police said Houston ran over a fence, damaged a car, and hit the side of the complex. She was reportedly topless as she elevated the front end of the loader to the second floor and crawled into an apartment before coming back out.

Many witnesses said it was quite the morning: "She actually ran into the side of my window, it shook the whole house. That's when we went running outside thinking, 'We better get out of here in case the building comes down,'" Andy Ashcraft said.

When police arrived, they arrested Houston and charged her with felony criminal mischief and felony criminal endangerment.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




*--------- 'Gator Trapps Girls in Tree ---------*
A Florida girl climbed up a tree to escape an alligator as her mother frantically called 911 for help. The incident occurred on Friday at a camping area north of Orlando, Fla. when 15-year-old Jordan Broderick was floating on a raft in the Ocala National Forest and spotted an alligator coming towards her. Broderick grabbed a branch hanging over the water and used it to climb up a tree to flee the alligator. But the alligator waited patiently at the foot of the tree. Broderick's parents witnessed the alligator stalking their daughter and called 911 for help. "My daughter's stuck in a frickin' tree and there's gators surrounding her," the mom told the 911 operator. "We can't get her out." It took about 30 minutes for police to arrive. And when they did, Ocala County Deputy Mitch Blackmon arrived with an AR-15 rifle and fired one shot into the alligator, killing it.

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*--- Please Don't Feed the Man-Eating Sharks ---*
A woman feeding sharks from a friend's yacht off the Australian coast was pulled into the water when one of the predators grabbed her by the finger. Melissa Brunning, 34, of Perth, was being filmed by a friend while she hand-fed the tawny nurse sharks at the back of the boat when one of the predators latched onto her finger and pulled her into the water. "I think the shark was in shock as much as I was ... the only way I can describe it is this immense pressure and it felt like it was shredding it off the bone," Brunning told The West Australian. "I came up and I was like, 'I've lost my finger, my finger's gone.'" Brunning said she was relieved to discover her finger was still attached to her hand, although she suffered a fracture and torn ligament. She later underwent surgery for an infection she sustained in the finger as a result of her injury. The tourist said she does not blame the shark for getting her finger while she tried to feed it fish. "It's not the shark's fault at all, but it could have been a lot worse," she said. "This is not a shark attack, this is just a blonde doing a stupid thing."




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
Lewis, I don't think it's actually the up-skirt photos themselves that get the guy off. Like you pointed out, you can get all of the free porn you could ever possibly want on the Internets. It's the ACT that's exciting to him. Like rubbing up on a person in a crowded subway train or having sex someplace in public. It's the trill of it.
[You've put a lot of thought into this. I'm guessing you've rubbed up on a person on a crowded train before.]


What kind of idiot hands their ID over to the person they're trying to rob? Are stupid people more prone to crime? Or maybe it's just the stupid people who get caught?
[Now that's a good question. I guess we'll never know.]


I think the Tunguska Event is pretty obvious. It was God punishing the Commies.
[That's a pretty good theory, except the Communist Revolution didn't happen in Russia until 1917, and the Tunguska blast didn't kill anybody. So not much of a punishment.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*