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MOUTHPIECE - June 12, 2018

Good Afternoon,

I forgot to bring my lunch today. I guess I could check the drawers of my desk for a nourishing item or two.

Let's see here. I have a stick of gum, some ancient Halloween candy that I never finished, half a jar of peanut butter, a bottle of antacids, package of citrus flavored cough drops and box of crushed, stale Saltines.

Well, that actually sounds much better meal than what I was going to bring in today.

Bring on the eating!

Mouthing Off,

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?"
--Don Marquis

[m] What's On the Web?


Taking a road trip? Wouldn't you like to know the unique kinds of foods that line the highway? Well, is the only cool web site devoted exclusively to finding the most memorable local eateries along the highways and back roads of America.


Dear Hollywood: These Are The Movies Fans ACTUALLY Wanted It's great how movie studios are cranking out tons of deep dives into specific characters and details of cinematic universes. What's not so great is that they never seem to focus on the characters and stories fans actually want to hear about. We're nothing but helpful, here at Cracked, so we asked readers to show us the movies the studios should have made, instead of the ones they did make.

Visit: Dear Hollywood: These Are The Movies Fans ACTUALLY Wanted

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- The Top 10 Signs You Have A Bad History Teacher --*

1. Constantly gets Indonesia and Outdonesia confused.

2. As incentive for learning, when you name a state capital, you get to take a shot.

3. Insists that one of Popes during the Roman empire was Pope Bubba.

4. Thinks that Mussolini was Hitler's favorite pasta.

5. Counts Puerto Rico, Mexico and Canada as "technically" U.S. States.

6. Tells you that it's Napoleon that's the ice cream that comes in 3 flavors in one box.

7. Insists that the Great Depression could have been stopped with the right amount of Lithium.

8. Threatens to renact Salem Witch Trials/Burnings if homework is not turned in on time.

9. Claims that it was Martin and Lewis that were the great explorers of the West.

10. Credits David Hasselhoff and not Democracy for the fall of the Berlin Wall.

(From Aha!Jokes)


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