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Monday, June 11, 2018

Good morning crew,

We had a month of perfectly sunny, if a bit warm, weekends, but the very first weekend I have free to finally get some work done outside, and it rained almost continually for 48 hours. In fact, it's still spitting a bit outside now.

On the plus side the wife and I got to spend a little alone time over dinner and drinks on our anniversary, but even that kind of intimacy doesn't come with the satisfaction of accomplishing something concrete with cooperation and teamwork.

Ah, well, you can't have everything.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Last week, a 90-year-old letter to Santa Claus was found in a chimney. On the bright side, the 96-year-old who wrote the letter is still alive and finally got that tricycle." -Conan O'Brien

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"Italian chefs recently set a new world record after making a mile-long pizza that took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who ordered the pizza was like, 'Ooh, I said no pepperoni.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Here's some strange fashion news. According to The New York Times, the monocle is back in style. Unless you're a Batman villain or a giant salted peanut, you should not wear a monocle." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes...

The first, a Florida surgeon, says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded."

The third, a California surgeon, says: "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth, an New York surgeon, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also purchased an inflatable life preserver. "It was my wife's idea," I explained to the grizzled salesman at the counter. "She's buying it for me as a gift."

"Lucky you," he said as he started to write up the order. "My wife got me a length of chain and a cement block."

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