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Sunday, June 3, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was cruising around the Internet on my laptop when I came across an item that caught my attention. "You know, honey," I commented to the wife, "I think there might be some merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son."

"Well, thank heaven," she said, "at least our son has nothing standing in his way."



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"Doctors are now warning about the spread of something they are calling 'super gonorrhea.' It's hard to believe that now the cool thing to say to a woman in a bar is, 'It's OK, I only have regular gonorrhea.'" -Conan O'Brien

Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?"

The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two pickets to Titsburgh'."

The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCKING BITCH.'"

"It is Fleet Week here in New York City, and our entire audience is filled with servicemen and women. This year is actually New York's 30th Fleet Week. So I want to wish an early happy 30th birthday to all those babies conceived during the first Fleet Week." -Jimmy Fallon

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his homosexuality from his parents, goes over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he lets out a big sigh and says, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

His mother made no reply, and the guy was about to repeat it, when she turned to him and said calmly, "You're gay? Doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

Nervously, the guy said, "Uh, yeah, Mom, well I guess so."

His mother went back to stirring the pot. Suddenly, she whirled around and whacked him over the head with her spoon, saying, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"