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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A South Carolina family said a store's bakery refused to print "Summa Cum Laude" on their son's graduation cake, confusing the term for profanity.

Cara Koscinski of Charleston said her son, Jacob, graduated summa cum laude (Latin: 'with highest praise') from a Christian-based home-schooling program and she wanted to celebrate the occasion with a cake from Publix food stores.

Koscinski said she ordered the cake online and ran into an obstacle when the order form told her "Summa Cum Laude" was not acceptable due to the inclusion of profanity.

The mother said she used the "special instructions" part of the order form to explain what the term meant and included a link to a website that explained the Latin.

Koscinski said her husband picked up the cake from the store and brought it to Jacob's graduation party, where it was unveiled in front of his friends and family with the message "Summa ___ Laude" printed on the icing.

"It was unbelievable. I ordered the special graduation edition cake. I can't believe I'm the first one to ever write 'Summa Cum Laude' on a cake," Koscinski said.

Koscinski said she had to explain to party guests, including Jacob's 70-year-old grandmother, why the store would omit the word "cum" from the cake.

"My son was humiliated!" Koscinski wrote on Facebook. "I seriously couldn't make this crap up!"

Publix apologized to the family and offered to refund the price of the cake.

"The cake experience was kind of frustrating and humiliating because I had to explain to my friends and family like what that meant. And they were giggling uncontrollably. At least my friends were," Jacob Koscinski said.


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*----------------- Pig Stalker -----------------*

Police in Ohio said they thought a man who reported being followed by a pig was drunk, but it turned out he was "very sober" and indeed being stalked by swine. The North Ridgeville Police Department said that a man called 911 about 5:26 a.m. to report he was being followed by a pig while walking home from the train station. The statement said police thought the man was "drunk" and "hallucinating" his porcine pursuer, but officers arrived to find the man was "very sober" and had a pig hot on his trail. An officer was able to wrangle the pig into his patrol cruiser. "Also, we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard," the police said. The pig was taken to the city's dog kennels and was later reunited with its owner.


*- Step 1: Steal razor blades. Step 3: Profit -*

A woman came up with a get rich quick scheme in order to make a lot of money from an insurance company. Correill Bradley, 29, of Louisiana went to the Mercy Regional Medical Center for treatment after suffering a cut to her mouth. Bradley claimed that she bit into a sandwich, which she bought from a fast food restaurant, and injured her mouth. She said that she found a razor blade in her food when she got home. She then filed an insurance claim with the restaurant's insurance company and contacted a personal injury attorney about representation, police said. When police examined the razor, it looked new and did not appear to have been mixed with other food from her sandwich. Officers checked with the hardware store near the restaurant who sold the same razors. While reviewing store surveillance videos, detectives saw Bradley grabbing a pack of razor blades from the shelf and leaving without paying for them. Furthermore, security videos from the restaurant proved that no one placed any contraband into Bradley's sandwich. So far, Bradley was arrested for criminal mischief and theft.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; Dachshunds are playful, but as hunting dogs can be quite stubborn. Dachshunds are statistically more aggressive to both strangers and other dogs. Yet were these dogs purebreds or were they crossbreeds with some more vicious breed? -R.S.
[Why? Because cross-breeds tend to be more even tempered?]

The poop in the Canadian Tim Hortons Story; would that be Aggravated defecation?

Hey Lewis--Tim Horton's person of the year was a great story! I've learnt not to put anything past anyone. Jim Morrison said it best-"People Are Strange". I laughed so hard that I almost shit my own pants. Thank goodness I made it to the kitchen.. Buzzy
[You're Canadian, aren't you?]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*